We're Not Loud, We're Acoustic!

DISCLAIMER:  This highly opinionated writ has NOTHING against fellow musicians, who by circumstances accept lean outfits and bookings. It also does not, in any way, imply inferiority to the musicianship of a certain gig. This is addressed to the mediocrity of both audience and one track minded business folks looking for kicks on the wrong places. If you want to know what I mean, read on.

You want to get the people up and stay all night.

You want to keep the tabs coming.

You want to be entertained with the latest radio hit done live.

You also want to get rowdy after a few kicks to “live” music.

You’re in luck. There’s an acoustic trio/duo on tonight.

In as much as economics rule the day, a line has to be drawn fast.  Venue owners want cheap entertainment. In the book of economics, the next Joe Pass or Mozart in 2016 would still have bills to pay.  In simplest of equations, let’s do two sets for a meal and some. 

My heart goes to the musicians. Anybody worth their salt wants to perform at the best of their abilities. But you can’t have a full band now. You are the band.  Bar owners want the lean stuff, despite the accessibility of a decent equipment nowadays.  Sorry we only accommodate acoustic acts.

“ Acoustic lang”, in local speak.

Electric (behind), Acoustic nylon string (upfront). Geddit?

You see, ignorance equates acoustic with chill and lounge music, so quiet and subdued, so cool. 

These folks could use a little J.Mascis or Billy Corgan on acoustic guitar. I'd gladly oblige.

Here’s what then - If you want music which responds to your perceived tolerable volumes, invest on a good P.A. system and bring in your download stash. Go for the kill and stop hiring live musicians. Live musicians belch, fart and breathe their music. There are sudden rises in tempo and volumes which are inevitable because they are alive and dynamic. 

And since the nightly demand for live entertainment is so diverse, creativity jumps in – from MIDI files to drum machines, slap and tap techniques, delays, loopers, split-set keyboards for left hand bass work abound to cover bases. I will presumptively speak for the musicians and artists -  the act is valid for a while, until the joke wears thin. You want to nail a good part, but you have no bass player. You have only two hands, and unless you are Joe Pass, Andy Mckee, Tuck Andress or George Duke, you secretly wish for someone to play with, a drummer to bring the song to its intended notch. But  no.  We can’t, economy dictates. Let’s go acoustic.

Because the whole s*pid notion that an acoustic gig = less equipment =savings is pure bull.

To capture the acoustic sound in its full glory is even more costly. Check the MTV unplugged sessions. Check Kenny Loggins’ “Live at the Redwoods”. Go check the jazz trios (the real deal ones, mind you).  Check the House of Daryl (Hall) sessions on Youtube. Check the album “Friday Night in San Francisco” with Di Meola, De Lucia and McLaughlin. Check Chick Corea and Yo-Yo Ma. Check Corea and Hancock on dual grand pianos. The Scorpions’ “Acoustica “ is replete with rich woody tones.  Check McLaughlin’s Shakti. Gypsy Kings are acoustic. Acoustic Alchemy is primarily acoustic (as the name implies). The rich acoustic sounds coming from acoustic instruments are one of the trickiest to capture and mix, where top notch equipment and engineers are necessary. More so, even the most skillful musicians will succeed in sounding like trash (not the genre) without decent equipment and sound system. 

And ironically, we abound with places offering “acoustic” gigs.  But what we hear is nothing like the above mentioned acoustic acts. Houston, we got a problem.

The audience is listening, and their ears are hunting for familiar hits to hum and sing along. No, they don’t want Sia, they want to be Sia in their tipsy states. They don’t love James Taylor, they want to be James Taylor.  The audience wants an extension of their beloved FM radio. Despite the slick production of Bruno Mars, a pale imitation of that hit done on one instrument and a cajon will do, for now.

And the problem is exclusively ours. Not yours, beloved paying fickle audience. Why there is a pressing need to hear THAT same song on one’s own phone, favorite FM radio, and noontime show done LIVE by a pared down duo/threesome, is just a mystery we can never ever solve.  And the numerous requests for house/dub remixes handed the pared down acts are just plain awesome – awesomely ignorant and insane.  Despite the secret wishes of playing artistically relevant stuff and be REALLY listened at someday, we’ll gladly oblige to your request – and find secret joy in the way you wrongly spell titles.

Anyhoo, it’s not about spelling. You may go back to your bottle of what-have –you, nothing much happening here - acoustic lang.

So if economy further dictates -  I suggest buying a second hand acoustic guitar. Pass the guitar around like a videoke mic, get them doing three songs per table. With the current hits abounding within 5 chords or less, there should be someone who can strum the night away from every table.   

Oh - better yet, get videoke machines.  And call them acoustic videokes.

TianoBM2016